People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.!
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
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life’s really big problems are:
1. Tunnel Vision
The tendency to focus only on the immediate crisis or sore spot. Under stress, things look worse or more complex than they really are.
The solution: Perspective. Ask if it will matter in 6 months. Ask what else is going on? How did I create this situation and, in an ideal world, what would I like to do about it?
2. Fear
The anxiety or terror that things will go badly, that we will fail or be embarrassed.
The solution: Humor and Curiosity. Modern life has very few saber-tooth tigers. The situation is rarely life or death. Ask, What’s the worst that can happen? What’s the best? What can I learn? What would I do if I had no fear?
3. Confusion
The sense of being lost or unclear about our direction. The sense that we don’t know our own priorities anymore.
The solution: Responsible Choices. Choose your values and priorities and set your own path. Your life is yours. Check your moral compass, pick a direction and do something extraordinary!
4. Guilt
The belief that we have hurt or failed or sinned and deserve punishment. Guilt is either accurate, because sometimes we do behave badly, or it is false and simply an illusion.
The solution: If we have transgressed, we must make restitution, ask forgiveness, learn from our error and move on. If it is false guilt, set it down as an unnecessary and irrational burden.
5. Shame
The belief that we are worth-less than others, that we have a terrible, incurable flaw. It is not that we have done something wrong (guilt), but that we are bad or wrong.
The solution: Clear, rational thinking. Everyone has behaved badly, but no one was created badly! Any flaws only serve to make you stronger, more heroic or more compassionate toward others.
6. Loneliness
The belief that no one loves us, that no one cares and we must desperately cling to anyone who finds us attractive or acceptable. This creates dependency, not intimacy.
The solution: Accurate Self-Assessment. Not everyone will love you, but many people will if they meet you, get to know you, and spend time working/playing along side you.
7. Resentment
Holding anger and refusing to move beyond real or imagined mistreatment in the past. Some people spend their whole lives as “victims”, nurturing a terrible event in their past.
The solution: Let go! Life is not fair and people do not always behave well or kindly. Use your trauma to make you wise, kind, gentle, and strong. Holding anger will not work.
8. Self-Doubt
The repeated, endless questioning of your own abilities, opinions or actions. The inability to take a stand, to act boldly, or to follow-through.
The solution: Action! Think clearly, then take action and follow-through. Start small, but do it! You are the world’s expert on your life! Use your wisdom to live well.
9. Stubbornness
The refusal or inability to re-assess a situation, change your mind, or admit you were wrong.
The solution: Wisdom and Humility. Only a fool stays on a course that is headed for disaster! Search for new and better information, remain flexible, open and creative. When the situation changes, adjust accordingly and set a new course.
10. Addiction
Humans become addicted to drugs, but we also become addicted to our jobs, our opinions or our lifestyle. We can be addicted to people and need them rather than love them.
The solution: Take a vacation! Periodically, walk in someone else’s shoes. Break your habits, re-arrange your schedule, delegate those things that only you can do “right”. Use habits and traditions to set you free, don’t let habits enslave you!
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